A Thankful Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was peaceful this year. I haven't been home since about a month and a half ago, but so much changes within a small amount of time, not only do things change, lots of things happen.

The same normal routine occurred on Thanksgiving. I woke up to Mama yellin', as usual - this time her yell wasn't as loud. :) I ended up making a potato salad of which the recipe I was given by a twitter connect. LoL. How... random? Yeah. After making the salad I proceeded to the Turkey Bowl. My brothers and the rest of the local football boys were already at the field, lingering in disgusting locker room aroma on the bottom soccer field at the high school. Lani arrived and already the boys were engaged for about an hour on the field. I saw some of the girls, a class or two younger than my graduation class. I ended up choppin' it up with them for a good few before they left to commence their Thanksgivings with their own families. I saw a person of my past, that was interesting. I did ask to speak with him, but knowing that he has a significant other has kept me from my own request, thus I let it go. Didn't seem meant to be. So, I kept my distance. Afterwards the boys and I came back home, washed up and prepared for thanksgiving late lunch/early dinner.

This thanksgiving I've come to realize how funny my family is. We were crackin' jokes on eachother NON-STOP. I mean, there wasn't a single moment of silence at the table. I actually spat up my drink after my mom said something random and funny. My brothers proceeded to poke fun at her.

I've come to realize that my family is all I have. They are all I will ever have when happiness fades and when sadness enters the door. They're all I will ever need when I'm feeling completely alone. I love that they are always here for me, even without them knowing that they NEED to be here for me... sigh.

This thanksgiving was a bit hard, Gramma wasn't here, and I realize I missed thanksgiving with her last year bc I was in Italia... nothing wrong with that, but... I just realize I'm thankful for having her at Christmas time last year, and New Years this year, and for my birthday, and her birthday, and all the other holidays up until she left.

I'm humbled and blessed this thanksgiving... only God knows my heart and how broken I was all weekend bc of my situation with my love life, but even though -- I'm still thankful I have a family that is always making me smile.

Thank you, God... you always come through for me.

Time to sleep... gotta wake up and take the kiddies to school, oil change, car wash, gas up, and one last date with Del Teezy before I leave the land of Del Taco Heaven. lol

Great night world. :)


I'm quite confused.
I can't think straight.
I want out.
I hate being here.
I wish I was in outer space.
I have to punch a wall.
I haven't cried until now.
I keep thinking back.
I love my mom & dad.
I miss my brothers.
I dont like my Gramma being in Samoa.
I found out I'm not alone.
I wont be here for long.
I swear I'm in denial.
I just want to be, successful.
I hunger for my future.
I aint finna hold back.
I gotta get thru this.
I like to cry alone.
I lowkey have a crush. 
I worry about my health.
I care too damn much.
I am too frkkn nice.

I recognized my mistakes.
I learned my lesson.

Truth is... I'm done.