3.04.2010

Lately...

So, lately I've been waking up very thankful. Not that I'm not thankful 100% of the time anyway, but just recently I started thinking about my life and all that encompasses it.

You see a year ago today, I'm almost positively sure that I wasn't in the position I am now. Granted, last year I was still on my own, still working full time, still completely clueless of what the future holds, today I have a whole year behind me that has added to my reason for living.

I woke up one morning, took a shower, and sat down in front of my mirror to begin applying face moisturizer. Upon moisturizing my face, I began to think, wow, am I really living on my own? I don't hear my mom yelling, my dad laughing, my brothers rustling back and forth in the hall way to get their clothes ironed, or begging me to iron their clothes, cuz for some God-forsaken reason they refuse to slide an iron on their pants, they need a female (my mother or myself) to do it. None of that occurs, I wake up, in a home that looks like how I left it last night, tidy and clean, or completely terrorized by Hurricane Dessarina. As I continued to get ready to hit the road, I grabbed my keys and thought to myself, wow, look at this, keys to my home, my car, and the back door at work. Hopped in the car and drove down the street just amazed at beautiful San Diego weather, it was lovely. Fresh dew glistening on the grass of the lawns I passed, the sun bouncing off of my side mirror in the car as I was rested at a red light. Man, I live in San Diego! And where am I going? To work... where? At UCSD. This cannot be possible? Or could it...

6 years ago, I didn't imagine my life like this. My only goal was to graduate college, and upon graduating college I thought to myself, wow Dess, you are on top of the world, you achieved your goal. Yet, even in graduating college, I wasn't content... why? I didn't know... for a long time I didnt know, and it took me 2 more years to actually realize what was to become of myself. I hit a latent stage in life, why? Well, *ahem* after 17years straight of being educated, some people (like myself) need a break! LOL Yup, as of June 22, 2008 it was a wrap for me, I put the books down and picked up the dancing shoes! ;) Call me a late bloomer, but I think plenty had their fair share of fun during their college and high school days. As for me, I was just not interested so much, for what reason? I'm not sure, but regardless of the reason, I know that it was all worth the wait. :) Anyhow, back to the whole achieving my goal... for a long time I felt like I didn't dream big enough when I was younger. How could a college degree really be my only goal? What about a job? Pssht, that wasn't even in my mind until my senior year, I was debating crazily before senior year if I would enter the work force or continue with school, and I'm glad I went straight to work. :)

Anyhow, this is all just gibberish I just wanted to write out my thoughts, nothing super detailed or thought provoking, just getting things off my chest as I find myself again looking at the mirror applying mascara thinking to myself, wow, I totally bought this mascara 3 weeks ago with my own money. Like wth, Mama told me one day I'd be on my own, but I never imagined it like this. With that said, I'm thankful that she still continues to push me towards goals to better myself. You the best Mama! ;) Raaaandom.

Mmkay, I'm done for the day. LMBO.

Cheers! Over and out.
=Dessarina