8.19.2013

7 months: New(er) beginnings

Welp, today marks 7 months in this marriage and I've learned a few more things in life. :)

There are a few things I celebrate at this milestone in our marriage.

1. Chris is finally feeling better from his arthritic pains (lol), has lost about 35lbs, and is up on his feet around the house :)
----- You know that whole "in sickness and in health" part of your vows that you took on your wedding day that binds you by word to God and all witnesses to stand by your husband's side? Yeah... I didn't know the consequences of that until this past month. The BooThang has been intermittently disabled and in pain with gout for the past month and a half. And I mean, he has not been able to walk at some points, was hobbling on crutches, and walking every so slowly, I mean carefully, from point A to point B. It's been a physical strain on his body... and our marriage. We've had some debacles in the past week just dealing with my patience and his disability. Lord, my patience and strength was truly tested, and for the strength I passed... for the patience, I failed. Blah, unfortunately I let Satan win a battle and it was at the cost of hurting my spouse, emotionally (which is always more painful than physically). I know that my words will always be valued by him now, if I didn't know it before. God-fully, we pushed through and have managed to still love each other, lol. I am just thankful that we are both followers of Christ and know that we can push past marital strife with prayers. We yelled, we cried, we talked, then we prayed. Now that all is said and done, God has rewarded us for our faithfulness to him by making us stronger lovers of each other and of Christ for bringing us out of the storm. Chris is now feeling well, and while he's not feeling exactly 100% physically, our marriage is still 100% so for that I stay thankful.

2. We finally moved into our new home, and are the only tenants in the living space. Ayyyyy-men!
----- So about a year ago I moved back to live with my parents. At that point, Chris had been living in Barstow/Victorville for about 7 months. We were engaged at that point and began living in my parents home. Granted, it was more of a roommate situation, separate rooms, separate beds, shared chores... etc. Now we are finally in our own place and the feeling is wonderful!!!! And weird. LOL It's wonderful because I am finally under my own roof. I love and am humbled that my parents are able and willing to take me under their wing when I needed them too, but after being on my own for so long, I realized that it's not the most comfortable living situation for me. So, after a year of preparation, saving and so forth, Chris and I finally sat down with my parents and told them we were relocating. Let me tell you, this took lots of prayers and preparation. I've been using my therapy sessions talking a lot about this sit-down talk with them, and how I had so much anxiety about doing it for fear of their disapproval! And of course, because God is good, we spoke to them and they received us well. Most of that is due to Chris being my mouthpiece and knowing how to properly communicate to my parents. We have this sort of cultural norm in my family that I was able to clearly envision while going to therapy. When I was unmarried, I lived under my father, and he was the head of my household - his words were official and final in terms of our family. This was nothing new, I grew up knowing that the man is the head of the home, as my father so nicely illustrated throughout my childhood. Meanwhile, I was growing independently and aggressively as a woman who could articulate herself well enough to speak in the absence of a head. When I graduated high school, or better yet college, I became the head of my own household because I in fact was living on my own, and did no depend solely on my dad. Well... things changed when I got married. For 1, now that I am married, my husband has become the head of my household. And secondly, I no longer have to articulate myself because again, my husband has become the head of my family that I have created with him. And now... when ever we discuss official matters like, us moving out of my parents house, the head of my house speaks with the head of the house that we were living in (Chris and my father). Very interesting family dynamic discovered through my therapist! :)

Anyhow, back to the living situation. We are out and on our own! What's most exciting about the move was that everything was completely covered by our wedding gifts! We thought really long and hard about purchasing used furniture for the apt and really starting a "ground up" type of living situation. We spoke to the woman showing us our apartment and asked her where most people bought their furniture in the area. She suggested Ashley's, which is a huge furniture store, very popular and also very expensive. Chris and I decided just to give it a look, and lo and behold, 4 hours later we walked out with a receipt of $2500 dollars worth of furniture! And God is so good because all those finances were squared away from wedding gifts. We had enough appliances and kitchenware scored from our wedding gifts, so there weren't any necessary purchases needed there. We bought our a used dining table and I put a DIY touch on it and turned it into a million bucks with a few layers of wood stain and fabric. Here are some pics for a visual...


                    BEFORE                                                                                            AFTER


































Beautiful isn't it? I am so proud of myself, big thank you to the hubsters for initiating the project and directing me on every move :)

So now we are alone in our own home and I feel independent again :) Only thing is, it's sort of weird living with another man... LOL! For so long I was raised segregated from the opposite gender. My parents very adamant about me not hanging out with boys, playing with boys, doing boy activities etc. I cried when my Dad told me that I couldn't play the drums because it was a "boys instrument". Yeah, talk about gender discrimination, to the freaken T! Anyhow, because I've been raised that way, it has now become a part of my lifestyle. Boys do this, and girls do that. They don't do them together! So here I am, living with my husband, feeling very awkward around him in my, excuse me OUR, new home :) I know it will take some getting used to, but initially, the excitement is there, but the feeling is very unfamiliar. I'm glad that I was able to save this feeling for when I got married. It's just a feeling I feel I have graduated to from my dating/engagement phase in my life. :)

3. Today, I started my daily commute to work from Colton and will hopefully continue doing this drive on Mondays and Tuesdays without having to bunk with a girlfriend in San Diego anymore. :)
----- Now that I'm muuuuch closer to work, I am able to drive to work instead of bunk with a girlfriend and make it a 2 day stay whenever I go to San Diego. I really love that I'm close enough to go back home to my husband after a day of work, but I will TRULY miss my girls in Daygo. They are every part of my weekly therapy. :) But, all good things come to an end, and this is just a part of transitioning in my life so I am sad to leave, but happy to be progressing.

In any case, it's my 7 month anniversary and the end of my work day so it's time for me to go home! God is good! All the time!

Love,
Mrs. Mulitalo