4.09.2013

Inspired by Iva... Take It Easy Tuesday (Inspired by her husband, Romeo)

Today is Tuesday. It's a normal Tuesday, really, except for the fact that I have to drive out to Azusa for a conference that is taking place this evening in lieu of my 12 hours of classes for the week. Although this conference will more than likely not be very engaging or interesting to me like the last one, I will take a few hours of information and free dinner of 12 hours of classes any week during the semester.

I've always been an avid writer. I enjoy writing, more than I like reading, and probably more than I like talking. I think this is a result of my silent days of depression, because I did go through those phases quite a few times in my day. Growing up as the only girl with a mother like mine, with three brothers that very similar to her, and an absent father that normally stood in my defense for anything. In essence I found myself quite lonely growing up because I did not have a very healthy relationship with my mother, my father was only present on the weekends, and for only a certain amount of time, and having three brothers that all had concerted efforts to make me cry led me to continuously be on my own. I was different from them anyway. They had no fear of my parents, I don't know why, my mama was CRAY CRAY! She still is, but thankfully she has found the Lord and is less cray cray, but cray cray nonetheless.

Anyhow, I began writing, poetry specifically, back in my younger days of suicidal ideation. Yeah yeah, I went through it, but it was not that serious. My attempt at saying is that is not to desensitize it, but to... well okay, it was a serious matter, but thankfully nothing happened. I never attempted suicide. Why? I would think of how my friends would react, I would think of pissing off my family, and I would think of how the dishes would stack up in my absence... that all ultimately led me to take out frustration and so forth to the pen and paper. I mean, the dishes had to be done, no doubt about it! Eventually I acquired the ability to release my emotions in a positive manner that was all done to my benefit. That skill that I learned early on in my life was very relieving for me, even if I was 12 years old, I was able to SAY how upset I was, without lashing out... and still get the dishes done - like a BAWSS.

In essence what I want to share is how writing has served a greater purpose than just allowing me to speak negativity in a positive way. That sounds paradoxical, but it's absolutely possible. Writing about specific emotions for me has always held an element of peace that failed me whenever I spoke about specific emotions. It's a gift from God that I am given words. I am so thankful.

I hope that today goes smoothly. I have more to update my blog with, and I am only finding my reason to come back to my blog as a result of reading Iva's blog. Thank the heavens for that woman! My blog posts are all sporadic and so forth, but as I am changing as a person I really should take the time to write about it. I have found the MOST comfort in reading blogs from my past and recognizing my growth. It's very rewarding!

Welp, I need to get ready to my commute.

Aurevoir,
Mrs. New Muli.